Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace, God’s grace…
Wow that’s all that I can see that is covering me from the incidences from the last year and a half, at least. Oh, boy, oh boy I didn’t deserve to be given this, or uprooted from bitterness. But praise be to Jesus who loved me that much to choose to save me! He was all I had, and all I really needed through that time. I do regret not having a human friend to confide in, to help me through this, but again He was all I needed at the time. Christ is still all I need—I’ll never get over that.
I am thankful that I am blessed with a healthy relationship. God has chosen to restore me, regardless of how foolish I was in allowing bitterness to even take root.
There’s still a long way to go to grow. Jesus will be there with every step.
That is all.
Processing Thoughts
A
- Available: …?
- Age: 24
- Annoyance: rude people
- Animal: Penguin
- Actor: …
- Actress: Dawn Upshaw
B
- Beer: Nasty!!!
- Birthday/Birthplace: July 14, 1986/Edgewood, Ky
- Best Friend: My sister, Chrysti
- Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes/hair color
- Best feeling in the world: contentedness
- Best weather: slight overcast
- Been on stage: Yes
- Believe in yourself: mostly
- Believe in life on other planets: there’s that possibility, but it’s not a part of the story of earth
- Believe in miracles: Jesus performed them
- Believe in Magic: nnoope
- Believe in Religion: depends. my faith isn’t religion, though
- Believe in Satan: Yes
- Believe in Santa: Not anymore
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: naw, they’re just tales
C
- Car: Civic
- Candy: toffeeeeee!
- Color: Green
- Cried in school: oh yeah twice at least in the last couple weeks.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: neither?
- Cake or pie: caaaake
- Country to visit: Austria
D
- Day or Night: day
- Dream vehicle: never having to own a vehicle again
- Dance: ballet, ballroom if I have a man to dance with. 
- Dance in the rain? nah
- Do the splits? used to be able to, now I’d just injure myself
E
- Eggs: okay
- Eyes: Blau
- Everyone has: a cell phone
- Ever failed a class?: No
F
- First crush: umm…Brandon Voorhees?
- Full name: Rebecca Lynn Agre
- First thoughts waking up: Aw, crap, I have to get up??
- Food: Cheeeese! XD
G
- Greatest Fear(s): Being alone, or being sick to my stomach
- Goals: love people for who they are
- Gum: blech
- Get along with your parents? most of the time
- Good luck charm: none
H
- Hair Color: red
- Height: 5’4″
- Happy: most times
- Holiday: Independence day
- How do you want to die: peacefully
- Health freak?: sometimes
- Hate: loneliness/rejection
I
- Ice Cream: Graeters!!
- Instrument: Voice
J
- Jewelry: earrings
- Job: Food Service worker
K
- Kids: Cute, but rowdy (someday?)
- Kickboxing or karate: Karate
- Keep a journal?: Try to
L
- Longest Car Ride: …does travelling 14+ hours in a tour bus count?
- Love: Jesus/helping others
- Letter(s): q, G
- Laughed so hard you cried: yup
- Love at first sight: naw, gotta get to know him better first
M
- Milk flavor: Stawerberry
- Movie: Fireproof
- Mooned anyone?: can’t say I have
- Marriage: I’ll have to see what God has in store for me. 
- Motion sickness? rarely
- McD’s or BK: neither. fast food is generally naSTY
N
- Number of Siblings: 1 Sister (1 Brother-in-Law)
- Number of Piercings: 1 on each earlobe
- Number: 7
O
- Overused Phrases: Dowhat now?
- One phobia: emetophobia
P
- Place you’d like to live: With my friends
- Perfect Pizza: pepperoni and cheese with ranch dressing as the sauce. mmmm
- Pepsi/Coke: neither, i don’t drink pop.
Q
- Quail: uh?
R
- Reason to cry: being lonely/pain from huge life changing events
- Reality T.V.: sick of it
- Radio Station: 90.9 WGUC (Cincy station)
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: I think so
S
- Song: All I ask of you
- Salad Dressing: Ranch/Italian
- Shrimp?: blech
- Skipped school: who hasn’t? 
- Seen a dead body?: creeeepy. and sad.
- Shower Daily?: Every other day
- Sing well?: I think so, others may beg to differ
- In the shower?: Not recently
- Stuffed Animals?: TY dog I used to cuddle with, shelf full of penguins. oo and a fuzzy panda
- Single/Group dates: Depends
- Strawberries/Blueberries: I’m not a fruit person
- Scientists need to invent: tereforming device so we can live on other planets
T
- Time for bed: around 22:30-midnight
- Thunderstorms: calming when there’s someone to cuddle with…
- TV: don’t watch much anymore
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: occasionally
U
- Unpredictable: my love life
V
- Vegetable you hate: purple cauliflower
- Vegetable you love: Carrots/green beans
- Vacation spot: Anywhere with friends
W
- Weakness: I can’t say no/chivalrous men
- When you grow up: I grew up?
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you? well, none really. I guess I’m that unique!
- Who makes you laugh the most: co-workers
- Worst feeling: betrayal
- Wanted to be a model: no
- Worst weather: Frigid arctic temperatures
X
-X-Ray: when I had my car wreck and whiplash
Y
-Year now? 2010
-Yellow: um?
Z
- Zoo animal: giraffe
- Zodiac sign: Cancer
Last person who:
- Saw you cry: Eric DeForest/my parents
- Slept in a bed beside you: Chrysti, my sissy
- Went to the movies with you: Luke Schutt
- You went to the mall with: My friend Jeremy
- Went to dinner with: Mom & Dad, probably
- Talked to on the phone: my momma
- Made you laugh: Co-workers (Kelsey, Sherrie, Jonn, Jeremy)
In the End
In the end, you can call me crazy for the things I say…I have yet to find a better way to express my thoughts
My verbal communication is lacking, so here are more ramblings of a foolish woman.
In the end, does it really matter what we do? Yes, just as long as it glorifies God in all we do. We as believers must not antagonize over such little matters. The most important thing has been taken care of—our sin has been cleansed from us. Praise the Lord!
Again, I make posts about fear and the unknown and how frustrating it is, but this is something that I need to deal with in a godly way—trusting that He knows what is best—as of course he knows what is going to happen anyway. As most people who read my blog know, that I’ve been through some unpleasant situations regarding relationships, said some things that I regret, but it’s okay because I realise my mistake. I know I agonize over almost seemingly insignificant things, nonmoral issues, but they seem significant to me, even though they’re not really in the long haul of life.
Back to relationships though, I’ve been seeking the Lord a lot on this one. I want to say that I know what I want, but yet, don’t want to be burnt again. I don’t want to rush into things, doing/saying something stupid and end up again in heartbreak. I know there’s a whole trust thing (which is much better than it was), and I’m learning to rely on others…that I cannot do things solo. I’m also afraid of reverting to the manic, obsessive, controlling, clingy girl I was too. I’ve been rebuking that fear and saying out loud that I am a changed woman, transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit and Christ working within me. I’ve been praying hard about all of this lately…
Some might say that this is personal information, but if I don’t share, how can my experiences/responses help others?
I will not allow fear to control my life and make me miss the greatest adventure of a lifetime!
A Truly Crazy Idea
I have a crazy idea again, or maybe it’s just thoughts because I think way too much about/overanalyze a particular subject. Another random post brought to you by: penguinpalooza. Enjoy the following thoughts from a mad woman. I’m particularly random at posting such things, and try to be as careful as possible about how much or how little personal information comes out in these posts. Apologies in advance, and if this does offend in anyway, I am willing to change the information about my ideas and how it is broadcasted.
This was one of the things I had thought about after having a wonderful conversation with one of my friends last night: A man doesn’t(and shouldn’t) just tell me that I’m beautiful by using his words. This means nothing to me. A man lets me know that I’m beautiful. He didn’t have to say anything, because saying something, it usually regards physical appearance. See the difference?
I would like an opinion on this. Is this really true, or am I imagining things again?
Lord, have mercy upon my poor, weak soul.
That is all.
Protected: More Meditation
Protected: Smitten…or am I not?
Shyishness…ish…ness
I understand totally that this post is completely random and hopefully more positive than negative, but it is a post nonetheless. I hope people read and are thoroughly amused that this post is the way it is. I warmly welcome comments that are constructive and not tearing down in any way…here goes!
I can hardly believe this is been going on for as long as it has. I want to talk to him, but the circumstances do not allow, unfortunately (and messaging on Facebook? c’mon pleeeease it’s the cheap way out! though sometimes handy when circumstances don’t allow to chat). I can tell he’s a sweetheart, a godly man, even though he may not see it. I may give the wrong impression by the way I talk and interact with other guys (that I’m not interested in being friends with him, that is). I deeply regret being somewhat shy and am a bit of a flop in being a friend. I don’t intend on interacting with certain guys one way, but that’s that some guys just are well, more extraverted. I know this is ridiculous to post, and I certainly hope that the guy I’m talking about doesn’t figure it out from this. Although…
Chances are he has a lot more things to be interested in than a little ginger-haired, thin ballerina girl (which I know there’s a lot more depth to me than just that, but you know what I mean!). I can’t help it if I have this (ahem)…weakness…for musicians! XD
Saying that, I must must MUST only be satisfied in Christ and what He can do for me than a man who is only human and can do so much. I must not have such ridiculous standards for him, the man I marry. Jesus has already fulfilled what a human mate cannot—He loves me regardless of what terrible things I’ve done/thought, he covered all those terrible sins of mine and I am no longer condemned by my past! I don’t even need to worry about what has happened in the past…
A godly man has…(tell me if these standards are ridiculous, and I understand that he doesn’t have to have all these down, just there and working on them)
- Love…he puts the needs of others ahead of his own. accepts people as they are. loves even though his love is not returned
- Joy…you don’t have to ask him if he’s a Christian; the joy in the Lord should be evident.
- Peace…he maintains proper relationships. he seeks to have good relationships with his friends and even his parents..he listens to others opinions without feeling threatened. he has the strength to back off from a fight; works to forgive wrongs done to him and seeks to make his own offenses right. does not hold a grudge.
- Patience…does not try to jump ahead of God’s perfect timing, does not make choices on an impulse
- Kindness…seeks to meet the practical need of others. he is not self-absorbed, but willing to make and spend time and money to help the needy.
- Goodness…hates anything that is contrary to what God’s Word says. He is a man of integrity. he stands for what is right
- Faithfulness…Follows through on his God-given responsibility. he realises that “he+Jesus=adequacy for any God-given job”
- Gentleness…understands the importance of feelings and emotions.
- Self-control…flees temptation to compromise…he refuses to remain in a situation that can be immoral and impure. avoids talk that causes jealousy or strife.
in the title of Kevin DeYoung’s book…Just do Something!!! I gotta be bold some day. I am destined for so much more than being a ridiculous school girl.
My name is penguinpalooza, and this is my story! A ridiculous one, yes, but I hope someone is amused by this just as I am.
