Updates and Such

I know. I hardly ever update this blog anymore for other people to read…anyway my life has felt like I’ve hit rock bottom, but only Christ has carried me through this all, having provided comfort from Him and through close friends, family and small group.
I’m also “in love”(crushing/admire, whatever you want to call it) with a guy I hardly know…He doesn’t realize it (nor do I care to have someone tell him. although sometimes…), nor will I ever tell because 1, it’s out of character for me, 2, the fear of just weirding him out, 3, him rejecting me because he’s clearly not interested in me and more interested in doing the Lord’s work, and 4, the guy is supposed to take initiative in any serious relationship. This has nothing to do with the fact that I broke off a previous relationship barely 3 weeks ago, however, my heart was gone long before that. It’s so hard for me to not say anything because I admire guys who know what they want in life and then just pursue that dream. I just don’t know anymore why I have a weakness for musicians…but I do find it important that the next man I date will have to have a passion for music…at any rate, I’m probably putting way too much thought into this whole thing—I’m being ridiculous because no man will want to pursue me as a terrible character I am when I play the manipulative relationship games :(. I may as well forget even trying to admire godly men and just go after what God wants in my life—to be satisfied in Him and be single for the remainder of my days, and become a better musician.
Other boring news about my life, I’m looking to graduate soon! I’ll finally be able to go on and make my mark in the world, hopefully have a success and land a great job in music somewhere. Maybe go on to pursue my master’s degree. 🙂
That’s about all.
tschüss